At Least I Know
it still hurts when someone says something rude at least i have friends they say i'm no good they say they don't like me they say i'm not worth it
they say i have problems
and damned if they're right
but at least i know what to do
what to look for
who to turn to
or mean about me
i don't think i can change that
but at least i know
at least i don't lie to myself
pretend i'm fine
i'm fine
i'm fine
everything's fine
i'm fine
but i want to pretend
i want to wrap myself in the
soft and safe
warm cocoon of denial
even if the number is few
and they may be weird
or screwy
or nice
they're still friends
and i appreciate them because
they think of me
and are nice to me
and remember me sometimes
and think "I have a friend named Cindi,
and I like her."
i'm not very talented
and i think i'm real hot
but at least i have self-esteem
no matter how inflated
at least I think i'm great
even if no one else does
and maybe that's
fine with them
and me, maybe
but at least they don't pretend
or lie
or pretend
at least i know what they think
at least they are honest and
i'm not left in the dark
the butt of everyone's jokes
just because i'm ignorant
i'm not worth living
or saving
or liking
or knowing
but at least i know it's not true
it's not true and
i know it
and that's what's important
because what i think of me is most important of all
at least i know