Chapter 2
~~~~~
That night around eight, Vachon and I were at my apartment. We were kissing and trying to walk to the couch at the same time. I tossed off my heels and pulled off his jacket. We made it to the couch and fell on it, still wildly kissing each other. Suddenly, Vachon placed a finger to my lips.
“We shouldn’t be doing this.”
“Why not?”
“What if, in the heat of the moment, I bit you. I don’t think Tracy would be too happy with the fact that she was undead.”
“Geez Vachon, You sound just like Nick. Don’t be so afraid. I’m not scared of what might happen. Tracy might never come back, and you’ll be stuck with me forever, and that wouldn’t be too bad, really. Just relax.” I pushed him down on the couch and continued kissing him.
“Please, Lynn, stop.”
“I don’t wanna,” I replied with a smile.
“Then I’m leaving.” Vachon got up from under me and walked to the door. I watched with a pout on my face as he opened the door and shut it behind him. I sat there, upset and looking messy, with my hair going in different directions and my dress part-way off.
Finally, as the wave of shock left me, I got up, walked to the freezer, and opened the door. I took out a pint of ice cream and grabbed a spoon from the drawer. Then I walked back to the couch, switched on the tv, and ate the chocolate to drown out my anger. This time, I didn’t care about weight.
~~~~~
It was Friday morning, and I had to get up for school. I had to get a ride from my sister, Sheri, and she was none too happy about it.
I quickly got dressed and fed the dogs, since it was obvious that nobody else did. Then I grabbed my things and informed my “chauffeur” that she had to wake up. She made a groaning sound and mentioned something about paying her. She got up and pulled on some clothes that were near her. It amazed me how dirty this girl’s room was.
We walked to the car and got in. Not only was her room dirty, but her car was dirty too! I had to move some towels and things to get a good place to sit. Sheri put in the keys and started the engine. It made a sputtering sound and died.
“Damnit! I forgot to winterize the car again,” she said while slamming her fist on the dash. Then she gently kissed the steering wheel and said to the car, “I’m sorry honey, you know you’re the only car for me.” Sheri got out of the car and walked down the street to another house. After a few minutes, she came back with an old lady holding a can. Sheri popped the hood and the old lady put some antifreeze into the engine.
After closing the hood, the old lady walked to my door and said, “Lynn, you better go to school today. I won’t be surprised when you go to the juvenile delinquent center. You’re such a burden to your poor mother.”
I just rolled my eyes and said, “How would you know about that? Are you stalking us?”
“Don’t be smart with me, you will show some respect for your grandmother.”
Crap! I had made a terrible mistake with this girl’s family. I think I might have ruined Lynn’s relationship with her grandma. By then, Sheri had the car started. We drove off and left the old lady standing there, gawking at us.
~~~~~
I took off the black dress and heels and threw them on the floor. I felt so guilty. I had eaten 3 pints of ice cream. So much for watching my weight. I was tired though, and I yawned as I opened the closet door and took out some pajamas. I wanted so bad to hear the familiar sound of Vachon entering the apartment, but it was 9:30, and so it was way too light for him to be out. Just then, the phone rang. It scared me from my thoughts. I picked up the receiver and heard Reese’s voice on the other end.
“Tracy, are you coming in to work tonight? Nick can’t work alone again. We’re on an important case right now.”
“Okay, I’ll be in tonight. I’m feeling better, and I do feel sorry for Nick, working alone. He must be exhausted.”
“I expect you in at eight tonight, so get some rest. Bye.”
I hung up the phone and laid down on the bed. I thought about calling back and canceling, but Reese was right. Nick couldn’t work alone for another night while I was faking sick. Besides, Vachon was angry with me, and I don’t think he would come back for a while. I picked up the phone again and dialed Nick’s number. I got the answering machine, so I left a brief message.
“Nick, this is Tracy. Call me back. I want to talk to you.”
I crawled under the covers and quickly fell asleep.
~~~~~
Sheri dropped me off at the front of the school. This was going to be another hard day. On Thursday, I was late for every single one of my classes, and I didn’t have my swimming gear for 8th period. I was hoping today would be better, since I knew where everything was. I walked into my Algebra class and sat down. The teacher walked to the front of the room and began going over the homework. Wait a minute. The homework?!?! I didn’t do my homework!!!
~~~~~
I woke to the phone ringing. I picked it up and uttered a sleepy “howdy-do good neighbor”.
“Trace, is that you?” Nick said in a surprised tone.
“Sorry, um, bad dream. What do you need Nick?” I answered, not wanting to explain my little obsession with Ned Flanders related phrases.
“Well, Trace, I should be asking you that question. You left a message on my machine?”
“Yeah. I wanted to know what was going on with the current case. I have been gone a few days.”
“Can’t this wait?”
“No. Now get to the details.”
“Well, we just need to question a few witnesses to a crime committed in the suburbs.”
“Okay. See you in,” I quickly glanced at the alarm clock, “two hours. Bye Nick.” I hung up the phone and pulled the covers over my head with a groan. Nick had interrupted a very juicy dream in which I was having a date with both LaCroix and Vachon. Now that it was over, I was feeling a bit, well, agitated.
~~~~~
It was 4th period, and I was in the middle of chapter one of the book we were reading in English class. It was the Giver. Lynn had read the book, but I had never heard of it, so I had to study up really quick so that I could lead the class discussion. Mr. Harris walked to my desk and quietly asked if I was ready.
“Okay. So, what do I do when I’m up there?”
“First you discuss the chapter, then you ask if anyone has questions.”
“Okay then.” I walked up to the chair in the middle of the room and tried to get in it. It was rather high up, like a bar stool. After several attempts, I finally succeeded, and opened my book. “Okay, um, we are discussing chapter one of The Giver. In this chapter, it, um, discusses the setting of the story and sets the basis of the plot, right?” Several of the students were staring at me as if I had sprouted a few arms or something. I flipped through the pages, and found the end of the chapter. “It ends where Jonas is excited about having his twelfth birthday or something.” I paused for a few seconds, thinking, then I piped in, “Any questions?”
Mr. Harris walked to the room, took the book from my hand and said, “I have a question. Did you read this chapter? In the book, Jonas lives in a controlled environment. They do not have birthdays, they have ceremonies. I want you to go out into the hall and read chapter one. Then write me a paragraph about it.” I slowly walked back to my desk and took out a sheet of paper and a pencil. Then I slowly walked back to Mr. Haun and took the book from him. Then I slowly walked out into the hall and sat down. Boy, was I red in the face. Extremely red, and extremely tired. I hated having to go through tenth grade a second time.
~~~~~
The alarm woke me up, and I hit it with my fist, hoping to shut it up. Still, I knew I had to get up, so I slowly got out of bed and walked to the closet to pick out an outfit. I did not want to go to work, but I had to. At least we were just questioning witnesses. I would have been awfully worried if I would have had to handle a gun. Just thinking about touching that thing sent shivers up my spine. I hated guns.
I chose a nice black suit. I wanted to look dark and foreboding. As I took out the suit and got dressed, I looked out the window. There was a shadow on the window sill. I hoped it was Vachon. I really wanted to apologize for the other night, but I guess he was still a little upset.
~~~~~
I walked into my room and threw down my backpack. It had been a pretty rough day. My hair was wet, and my face was all red. In 8th period, we had to do some dives, but I didn’t know how to dive, so I ended up drowning. At the time, I was panicking, but after I realized I was in the shallow end, it was pretty embarrassing. I was so glad that it was the weekend.
I walked to the tv room and turned on the tube. It was on channel seven, and The Jerry Springer Show was on. Some people were on the show, confronting each other about stolen boyfriends, and alleged makeover that were not yet given. Then the show went to commercial and they had one of those “call the show” deals.
“If you or someone you know is claiming to have swapped bodies with someone else, you could be a guest on our show.”
I picked up the phone and called the number.
~~~~~
We walked into the interrogation room. A man in dirty clothing was sitting, sipping some coffee.
“Could you tell us what happened?” Nick said to the man.
“Well, what happened was,” he began.
I interrupted his sentence, “Tell us the truth! You did it, didn’t you!”
“Tracy! We already have the man who did it. This is the witness,” Nick stopped me from embarrassing myself further.
“Oh. Sorry. I’ll just be going now.” I walked out of the room quickly, hiding my red face.
~~~~~
After talking to the people at The Jerry Springer Show, they said it would take them a day or two to get everyone on the show. They also said they would get a witch doctor on, and a few other strange people to switch us back. I was so nervous. Would it work? I hoped so. I didn’t want to be stuck in this body forever.
~~~~~
I was at the abandoned church where Vachon lived. I was hoping to find him so that I could apologize.
As I walked in the door, a voice from somewhere above said, “Are you here to apologize?”
“Yes, Vachon, but where are you?”
“Up here.”
I looked up and saw Vachon sitting on one of the rafters, sipping from a bottle of wine. “Can I come up?” I asked.
“Okay. I’ll come down and get you.” He flew down and took me firmly by the waist. I loved having his arms around me. We flew back up to the beam and sat down.
“So, about that apology, am I going to get to hear it?” Vachon handed me a glass of spritzer.
“Well, I’m sorry for acting like an idiot the other night and I hope you aren’t mad at me.”
Vachon put down his glass, and took my chin in his hand. “I’m not mad. Even though it isn’t really Tracy behind those eyes............ I still want to kiss you.”
“Well then why don’t you?” Vachon looked down at my lips, and kissed me gently. His own lips were so cold. He put his arm around me and pulled me in. I ran my fingers through his hair and rubbed his back with my other hand.
We sat up in the rafters, talking and kissing until the sun came up. Then he flew me back down and we sat on his couch until we fell asleep, his warm leather jacket around my shoulders, his warm arms around me too.
~~~~~
I opened the closet door and looked at the dresses available. I wanted to look nice for The Jerry Springer Show. All that I saw available was a pretty blue sleeveless dress and a black lacy one. I chose the black one. It complimented my thighs.
~~~~~
I walked back in my apartment just as the phone rang.
“Hello, this is Vetter,” I answered in my most professional tone.
“This is The Jerry Springer Show. We want you on the show!”
I practically fainted.
~~~~~
“No way, Lynn! I am not showing up on The Jerry Springer Show. I hate it when a large number of people have their focus on me.”
I was trying to convince Jill to accompany me, since I was going to go to Los Angeles alone. She obviously wasn’t going to be moved from her decision.
~~~~~
“Vachon, will you go with me to Los Angeles? The real Tracy has entered us as guests on The Jerry Springer Show,” Vachon was over on Saturday night.
“Well, is the show going to be on at night?”
“Yep. So, will you go with me?”
“Okay.”
The Jerry Springer Show!
“Welcome back to the show. We are going to bring out someone who claims that she has switched bodies with someone across the country. Welcome to the show, Lynn Johnson.”
Lynn walked out onto the stage and sat down in the first chair. “Hi Jerry. My name isn’t Lynn. This is Lynn’s body, but my name is Tracy Vetter.”
“So, you claim that you switched bodies with Lynn?”
“Yes Jerry. One minute I was at work in Toronto, and the next thing I knew, I was lying in a strange bed clear across the United States, in Nevada.”
“Okay, and you had switched bodies with our next guest, and that’s Lynn Johnson, so here is Lynn Johnson, claiming to be in the body of Tracy Vetter. Tracy, come on out.”
I walked out and sat down next to Lynn. This was the first time I sat next to myself. It felt strange.
“Welcome to the show, Tracy. So, you and Lynn have switched bodies?”
“Yes, and please call me Lynn. Tracy is over there,” I pointed to Tracy, in my body.
“Okay. So you both agree that you have switched bodies Well, we have another guest for the show. This is Tracy’s boyfriend, Xavier Vachon.”
Vachon walked onto the stage and sat down next to me. “Please just call me Vachon.”
“Well, Vachon, what is your view on this?”
“I know what happened. At the same time, both of them thought or said the exact same thing, and they ended up switching bodies. Lynn ended up in Tracy’s body, and Tracy ended up in Lynn’s body, clear across the country.”
“Sounds just like that movie, Freaky Friday. So, Vachon, Thank you for explaining that. I hear you have something to say to Tracy.”
“Yes. Tracy, we have had an off and on relationship, and it hasn’t gone well either way, so I’m here to tell you that I’m breaking up with you indefinitely so I can go out with Lynn.”
Tracy looked at Vachon for a few seconds, too flabbergasted to speak. Then she started running at me. The next thing I knew, she was pulling my hair and calling me names. I guess I got a little upset, because I pulled her hair, and we pulled each other’s hair, and we were calling each other nasty names, and suddenly it happened.
“You bitch!” Tracy and I said, at exactly the same time. Then we stopped fighting, we stood up, and we just couldn’t believe it.
“I’m, I’m, I’m me again!” I said.
“So am I! You’re, you’re, you’re you again, and I’m me! And.......... you stole my boyfriend! You bitch!”
We began fighting again while the bodyguards tried to pull us apart, and Jerry ended the show with his famous “final thought”.
“We all say things and do things, but sometimes we say the exact same thing as someone else, and we end up as them. Whether today’s show was a hoax or not, we all got something out of it. Thanks for watching, we’ll see you next time. Tomorrow’s show: My parents are 90-year-old transvestite strippers. Until then, take care of yourselves, and each other.”For disclaimer, see Chapter 1.